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Ho in a Haystack

October 17, 2010

Got a e-mail yesterday from the “filmmakers” asking me to track down the prostitute that Chris refers to on the 35mm reel.

Some things we should keep to ourselves.

Apparently David found this in the burnt remains of the cabin:

Chris' decision process revealed

When I spoke with “Carla” she insisted that I meet her at the corner of El Cajon Blvd. and 42nd street. I waited for hours, almost having to defend myself on several ocassions. Finally I asked a nearby woman if she knew Carla. She said that she new a lot of Carla’s and that if I didn’t get off her corner she’d “bitch slap me with her dick hand”. I politely informed her of my status as a volunteer police officer in Denver and continued asking the other girls about Carla. That’s when she pepper sprayed me, tried to push me in front of a bus and reached in my pockets.

Pretty sure this person has my wallet.

So, I crossed the street. One of the things that makes me such a renowned collector is that I never give up. Once again my steadfast pursuit paid off. As my vision hadn’t quite cleared of that psychopath’s noxious weapon, I heard a voice proclaim from a departing car, “Thanks Carla!”. My vision having not returned to me entirely, I approached Carla about the Chris issue. She said that she would only speak to me in private and that she knew a nearby motel room that would be perfect for our clandestine business. I couldn’t quite see her face but she had an honest voice. I followed her to the motel.

I could of swore the front desk clerk said the room was $20.00 an hour, but Carla said she needed the entire $100.00 I had left in my pocket. She then asked me if I had anymore money for something else I can’t quite remember, so I explained how the “filmmakers” haven’t paid me yet. Finally in the room, I immediately asked her to tell me about her experience with Chris. I could tell she was hoping for more, but I could feel the clock gears of the mission turning. If I followed every temptation presented to me in my travels I’d still be selling pirated software on Craigslist. Again, nothing happened between me and this woman. Anyhow, before she could supply any useful information about Chris some police officers broke down the door. Apparently they thought I was trying to solicit a prostitute. I tried to explain to them my mission and they had a great laugh at my expense. When I told them about my temporary blindness, I heard them use my camera phone to take a picture of “Carla”. Still giggling, the officers let us both go. They probably had some sense of my law enforcement experience. When my vision finally returned I found this photograph in my phone:

This is a different Carla.

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